The Seeping Stench of Violence

November 25th is White Ribbon Day. Each year this date signals the start of 16 days of international activism to combat violence against women and girls. Its profile has grown during recent years and many organisations are gaining White Ribbon accreditation. Politicians are more involved; the media are reporting White Ribbon events, and and people are increasingly standing together to campaign against the insidious rise of violence.

But the scale of it is almost impossible to absorb. Look at this dreadful statistic.

EVERY ELEVEN MINUTES, ACROSS THE WORLD, A WOMAN OR GIRL IS KILLED IN HER OWN HOME.

Unfortunately, much of this month’s blog makes grim reading. But it is so important to keep remembering that women are not safe, and that violence and domestic abuse are a terrible stain on humanity. Attention must be paid. So, before the Christmas jollifications begin, and before waves of sentimentality obscure and distort the reality, please, please, pause for a moment and consider what is happening. And why? 

On White Ribbon Day itself, two headlines in the British media highlighted shocking violence. An eight-year-old girl was shot and injured in a drive-by shooting incident. Elsewhere, the family of a woman whose strangled body was dumped in the boot of a car, expressed their despair and incomprehension. That news faded into the background - most people will have missed it or merely given it a passing thought. New headlines have taken over. And of course, television, streaming and films can all offer gruesome fictional violence for diversion and entertainment. No need to bother with the real thing.

An encouraging recognition of the importance of all this, however, has come from the Metro newspaper, which chose November 25th to launch a year long campaign called It’s Not Right. Please take a moment to click on this link – look at the stark and horrifying statistics presented there.  

Well done Saoirse Ronan!

A moment of silence. A lightbulb moment for a group of men faced with the reality of daily life for women. You can catch the clip here.

Denzel Washington, Paul Mescal and Eddie Redmayne were sharing a hearty, blokey laugh on the Graham Norton Show at the end of October. It was all about how anyone could even remotely need to think about using their phone as a weapon of protection. As they ho-ho-hoed away, we suddenly heard Saoirse’s voice, saying ‘It’s what girls have to think about it all the time. Am I right ladies?’  After that slightly stunned pause, the audience applauded, and the men mumbled in embarrassment as they recognised the absolute truth of what she was saying. Read the BBC story here. 

A day or so later, Nick Robinson, the BBC Today presenter, shared a recording of a conversation with his daughter, who, as a woman in her late twenties, explained, in a matter-of-fact way, the lengths to which she and her friends go to keep themselves safe. It is worth reading the whole interview, but here is a snippet to give you a taste:

‘Every time I go out in the dark [I feel unsafe]. Any time.
I think putting your keys between your fingers is probably more common, because then you could scrape someone's face, again, do you want to do that because then your keys are available for someone to potentially take off you or work out where you live, so there are contradictions there. 

Other things are pretending or being on the phone with someone and saying I will be there in 10 minutes, I'm looking forward, and sometimes you drop male names so they know that men are about to meet you who could I guess theoretically beat them up, I don't know. 

Sometimes you wouldn't wear headphones in the dark because that could be unsafe because you don't know what's going on, but sometimes I deliberately wear headphones so people won't talk to me, because you get catcalled more if you are not wearing headphones, so you have to work out which is the most safe one to do in each situation depending on where you are. 

I think it's just something that you learn. You're constantly looking over your shoulder to check.’

Like the Saoirse Ronan episode, the conversation is a disturbing revelation about male lack of understanding. As Nick Robinson later reflected, it shows:

'How men, even men who love them, can fail to appreciate and understand the fear women live with daily.'

White Ribbon in Milton Keynes

The international White Ribbon Movement began in Canada in 1991, founded by a group of men committed to addressing gender-based violence. For several years now there has been an event in Milton Keynes, starting with speeches and testimonies and culminating in a Vigil at the Milton Keynes Rose. 

This year the theme is #ItStartsWithMen, and the Vigil committee – a coalition of partners from across the city – organised a programme of male speakers, who, in diverse ways, called on men and boys to become allies for women and girls. You can read the details in this Press Article. Always a powerful and moving event, more people than ever attended, and heard speeches at The Gallery. Fortifying refreshments from the Pink Punters bus preceded the walk to the MK Rose in the darkness of a cold November evening for the final ceremony.  Torches, tea lights and cycle lamps illuminated those paying homage to victims of violence and abuse, and a hundred metres of white ribbon literally wrapped up the event – that is, until November 25 next year. Please put the date in your 2025 diary now and remember – the current 16 days of action last until Human Rights Day on December 10th. 

Hot off the press, as an important piece of breaking news, it is good to hear to hear about the launch, on November 25th, of the Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) Alliance, Buckinghamshire and Milton Keynes, a partnership of agencies offering support and information. More information can be found here.

Of course, there are many other things that we can all do before the next White Ribbon Day. We can educate ourselves and the men and boys in our lives. We can challenge misogyny, and we can offer support to campaigns like this one started by the Manchester Evening News.  

Gender-based violence is not a ‘women’s issue’ - it is an issue for the whole of society, and it needs collective understanding and action. Huge thanks are due to all those individuals and groups, men and women, boys and girls, who make it their business to bring about change. We should all join them.

November update on our MK Fawcett campaign for a Safer, Healthier, Fairer Milton Keynes

• We have circulated background papers with baseline evidence of the need for making MK Safer, Healthier and Fairer
• We have had preliminary meetings with all three MPs for Milton Keynes (Emily Darlington, Callum Anderson and Chris Curtis) and have discussed the issues raised in our campaign
• We have agreed the date of a future meeting with the MPs, to take place in February 2025
• We have participated in a meeting with the Milton Keynes Youth Cabinet in November 2024 and have discussed our work with them
• We are monitoring and collecting further evidence to support our campaign
• We will continue to promote the manifesto campaign and encourage people to become more engaged with the political process
• We will include an update in every blog. Thank you for supporting us in our campaigns for gender equality and women’s rights

You can read the papers we have produced, or if you have any queries, please contact us at miltonkeynesfawcettgroup@gmail.com